Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he was CRYING into my vagina
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
