i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
