who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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