Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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