Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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