What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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