I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just invented taco cereal.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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