plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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