So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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