I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
