I have demons in me.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
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He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
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Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize