you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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