I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
