By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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