I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
