Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
