my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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