i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
