Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
