winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
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As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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