If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
