wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
