Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
