Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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