I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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