ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She's the barista slut.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
