it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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