Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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