Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
