Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
