Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
