OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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