I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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