the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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