i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
