Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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