i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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