like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
