My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I intend to get homeless drunk
it's great music for shaving your balls
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
