dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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