he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
