cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
