please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
