You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
