And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Screwed.edu
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Randomize
