how can u be prego again
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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