idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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