Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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