OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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