this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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