All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
