yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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